Let me back it up a sec.
I used to live all alone in my cave.
Well, okay, not completely alone. I had Max. I would spend my days sitting there, looking
down Mount Crumpit at those idiots in Whoville, holding hands, and, smiling, and eating their Who-pudding.
More like what-pudding. Who knows what they put in that stuff.
But Christmas! Oh, Christmas was the worst. On Christmas, those Whos would let it all
hang out.
Their Merriment Meter would go from an 8 to about a 10 and a half. Unbearable.
So one year, I decided to nip this thing in the bud.
I devised a plan.
He'll be back. I came to the conclusion that I needed to
take matters into my own hands.
Rather than let the Whos keep up their infernal racket, I would snatch the song and laughter
right out of their hearts. And it just so happens that I love to play
dress-up.
So does Max.
And so, dressed as Santy Claus, and with Max doing his best Rudolph, we hitched up a sleigh and
headed into town. I slipped down every single one of their chimneys,
helping myself to the decorations on the tree, the presents underneath the tree
and why not, how about the tree itself as well?
I even raided their Christmas Who-Cookies. I was pretty determined to go whole hog on
this thing. I did have to dodge the curious inquiries
of one Cindy-Lou Who,
but her half-asleep probing was no match for my clever deflections.
So once I get everything loaded into my sleigh, I take it all up the side of Mount Crumpit
and get ready to ditch the whole thing over the side of a cliff.
when I hear something, unexpected.
Singing.
You have got to be kidding me. But no, indeed, those unstoppable Whos are
still belting their little lungs out.
With all their food and presents missing, they still found something to be happy about.
And that's when it happened.
I can't explain it, but, my heart suddenly grew three sizes.
Which, for one thing, meant I was going to have to buy it an entirely new wardrobe.
But, on the upside I finally realized the error of my ways.
Christmas wasn't about stuff. It was about loving one another, and being together, and sharing.
That word used to make me shudder something awful.
Once I let a little love in my heart, I immediately shot back into Whoville, and returned
all of their whats-its and whos-its.
And those buggers weren't even mad! They let me join them, and even let me carve their
roast beast!
So, if you're a Grinch like I used to be, I implore you,
give happiness a chance. It doesn't hurt that badly.
